Political Science for Dummies

DEMOCRAT

You have two cows.  
Your neighbor has none.  
You feel guilty for being successful.

You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.

REPUBLICAN

You have two cows.  
Your neighbor has none.  
So?

SOCIALIST

You have two cows.  
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.  
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST

You have two cows.  
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.  
You wait in line for hours to get it.  
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.  
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.  
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.  
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.  
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.  
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.  
You go on strike because you want three cows.  
You go to lunch and drink wine..  
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.